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We are dating and want to stay pure, but we keep slipping up. Any advice?
Q: “My girlfriend and I are Christians but we are sexually active. We know we are in the wrong and that God’s teaching tells us to be pure and wait till we are married. However, every time we try to stay pure we end up slipping up. What makes matters worse is that I am currently four hours away at school and every time we see each after being apart a week or two (even when we have had full intentions of not being sexual) we end up falling into our old habits. I have your book but was wondering what would be the best way to get out of this cycle and get right with God?”
A: First of all, I’m thankful that this couple is concerned about it. In today’s world, many couples are not concerned about it. They are just simply having sex with each other every time they get together, and that’s the central part of their lives. They’re not married, don’t know if they’ll ever get married, and are just enjoying each other’s bodies. Most people who live together before they get married don’t get married and those who do have a higher divorce rate.
I think I would say two things. You’ve already agreed that this is not the biblical pattern and thus is not a healthy pattern. Now you have to find a way to break that pattern. What you’re demonstrating, by the fact that you say, “I want to do this but we always fall back into the same pattern again” is the strong bonding nature of sexual relationships. That’s why I think God reserved them for marriage. Sex was designed to be a deep bonding experience between a husband and wife. What you’re experiencing is that deep bonding between the two of you even though you’re not married. Consequently, you’re drawn back together. However, if you’re going to develop a healthy dating relationship and make a wise decision about getting married or not getting married, you’re going to have to draw away from this obsession with the sexual part of the relationship. Then, you’re going to have to explore other aspects of the relationship.
There are a few things you can do that will be helpful:
- Plan your dates to keep you active in doing something. Don’t go home, to the car or to the other person’s apartment and spend hours on the couch.
- Go out with another couple of your parents. Have dinner with them. Spend time getting to know each other’s friends and parents.
The key is that you don’t allow yourself to be together in a sitting where you’re alone or private because if that happens, you’re very likely to be back in the same routine. The longer you can go without being involved sexually, the easier it will become for you, because you’ll be finding pleasure in getting to know each other and discussing life with each other.
You mentioned you had my book…I’m assuming you’re talking about Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married. I think to work through that book would make wonderful dating experiences for you. The more you get to know each other apart from sexual activity, the more you’ll be able to make a wise decision to marry or not to marry.
Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the bestselling 5 Love Languages® series, which has sold more than 8 million worldwide and has been translated into over 40 languages. Dr. Chapman travels the world presenting seminars on marriage, family, and relationships, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. He lives in North Carolina with his wife, Karolyn. For more information visit 5lovelanguages.com.
Does he mean it when he says he wants a divorce after every fight?
Q&A: Do Relationships Need The “In Love Experience”?
Hoping and praying that this answer would help prevent many others from falling into sin.
I have exactly the same problem with my girlfriend but we haven’t had sex and i hope we don’t. I can control myself but every time we kiss too much it leads into a next thing and she gets really turned on and all hell breaks loose. I want to find a way to break that habit out of her.
PS. i honestly don’t think to stop kissing is going to help the situation cause that’s basically all we can do or else the relationship might get boring for her. she said so not me.
I would actually strongly advise that you guys don’t kiss if it is what keeps getting you two into trouble.
I think the fact that not kissing is an issue for her in a dating relationship is a big thing you need to consider. In marriage, when kissing, sex and the whole shabang are allowed, you will need other wholesome ways to keep things interesting. Kissing should not be the glue that keeps you both together and interested, especially when it is leading you into dangerous territory.
In the end, you need to keep your way right with God (that is the most important thing) and if the way your relationship works right now is causing serious temptation or issues for you with sexual purity, (or anything else for that matter), I would seriously advise you to take a step back.
I wish you God’s guidance and courage in sorting this out with her. Pray.
Hi all this in response to Techie, if I might give you a few pointers. i think you really need to talk with your girlfriend and tell her how you feel. you should express your expectations or Ideas of your relationship and future marriage. if no kissing and sex is a deal breaker now, what will happen when your married and the sex slows down and you two are busy with work and the life routine and too tired to be affectionate or to make love? I only say this because most marriage go through a no sex period of time. the fact that you have said that if you dont kiss or no sexual touching is a problem, that worries me. communication is key. just my opinion
To stay sexually pure, a dating couples need to a) set firm, biblical boundaries, b) cultivate their spiritual walk with Christ, and c) build accountability into their lives.
Most Christians have heard that they shouldn’t have sex before marriage, but they’ve rarely
been told the full story why. Sex represents something very special to God. It’s His gift to married couples, providing them with a way to regularly remember and celebrate their marriage covenant with God and each other (1 Corinthians 7:5). It declares to all of creation that this couple is one spiritually, emotionally and physically – for life! In 1 Corinthians 6:16, God says that we become one with the person we have intercourse with. God intends that a couple’s sexual union in marriage reflects the oneness relationship that Christ has with His Church (Ephesians5:32). It’s this sacredness that sets it apart.
To stay sexually pure, a dating couples need to a) set firm, biblical boundaries, b) cultivate their spiritual walk with Christ, and c) build accountability into their lives.
I guess for most, the accountability part is where it is really difficult, but it is highly invaluable. It is a bit embarrassing to allow someone to be involved in helping you out with something that we feel we should be able to handle ourselves, or at least in the relationships we have. Still, I know of young christians who made themselves accountable to mature christian couples they had solid, open trusting relationships with (mentor-type relationships with the men helping each other and the women doing the same). Sometimes, individuals made themselves accountable to individuals.
i would like to say that me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and within the first 4 months of our relationship, we both gave our virginity to each other. for me, that was the most difficult time in my life because i didnt care and i had no intention of stopping what we were doing and to be frank, i am the one who asked him to go all the way. Me and him have completely rededicated our lives to God and even though we have messed up a few times since then, because i am trying my best and praying and seeking an answer for this problem, God is pleased with and honors my passion to make this right. My relationship is so beautiful now. I used to allow the devil to tell me that because i mess up sometimes that im just trash and i just cant stop but God opened my eyes to know that im NOT the only person who deals with this and that i am NOT trash. Every Christian falls into temptation sometimes, even though we arent supposed to, we are all human and none are without sin. Just because my sin SEEMS worse, it’s the same as a christian who lies… we are all wrong sometimes but because we are bought with the blood of Jesus and his grace covers me, He Loves Me. I realllly hope this will encourage some of the young girls out there trying to create a new relationship with your boyfriend. Jesus told the woman in the bible “Go and sin no more…” we are changed but we are not perfect…other girls deal with the same thing AND boys! Continue to strive for the spirit of lust be broken,
Tip: 1. Pray that God will open your eyes to see him/her in a new way…the way that God sees them.
2. Ask your significant other about your relationship with God..ask what they are dealing with and how you can help. This will open your eyes to more than just who the human being they are and who they are spiritually. It truly opens your eyes.
3. Pray together EVERYDAY! It opens a bond of hearing each other love on God and shows that you both want the new relationship.
4. Do bible studies together. When you read together, you are opening yourself up to the word and strengthening that bond between the 2 of you.
5. Spend ALOT of time with friends…(christian friends) together. Now, you do need time apart and friends of your own but make time to hang out with christian guys and girls together!
6. KEEP EACH OTHER ACCOUNTABLE! don’t be afraid to say no…if it gets too risky, dont be scared to just up and walk out of the room…done it plenty of times. does it ruin the moment and bring awkwardness? absolutely!! but if they are in the right, they will thank you for it!
7. Truly seek God and spend time with God alone and find God’s love for you. When you recognize God’s love you will begin to understand the love you have for the other person and you will understand their love for you. Once you recognize that, you will have no desire to fall into sexual temptation because “lust” outside of marriage is NOT love. Find the true love and it will become easier to say no because you will know that you love that person!
PS: If anyone would like to talk and ask me questions, by email is firstname.lastname@example.org and i would LOVE to pray for and with you (:
My fiance and I are getting married in about two months. We have struggled with staying sexually pure throughout our relationship. We have been together for four years and have been sexually active for about three. We have tried on multiple occasions to stop and have succeeded for months at a time. However we always fall into the same sinful behavior. As the wedding gets closer we struggle even more. I want God to bless out marriage, but we can’t seem to get past this stumbling block. Any advice you could give would be a blessing
You’re marriage will undoubtedly be cursed and not blessed by God (Deuteronomy 30:19, Deuteronomy 11:26 etc).
I am also engaged and my fiance and I have struggled. I’m thankful to say that we haven’t had intercourse, but we’ve struggled. We’ve been dating since January of 2009, so I understand that long relationship times make it very difficult to stay pure. I want to encourage you that you will be blessed in your marriage as you and your man continually seek God and his forgiveness. It is something that I struggle with too. I worry that because we have compromised on some issues that maybe God won’t be there with us or bless us. The beauty of Christ is that he takes our messes and fixes them up. We can’t get cocky and believe we can do it on our own.
Be prepared that the devil is going to condemn you and remind you how you have sinned and fallen short, but remember how much God loves you! When you feel down, look up! Look at what Jesus has done for us!
Jesus is full of grace- but know that there will be consequences for what we have done. Believe me, I am sure there are things that I will learn because of my sin too.
Take your last two months as a chance for you and your man to come humbly before Jesus and seek him. Do everything you can to choose holiness. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to be hard. It’s going to be tempting to just hang out alone. Press through because the benefits and blessings will be worth it all, “You can do all things through Jesus who strengthens you” Philippians 4:13.
I wish you both a strong marriage, and God promises that a cord of 3 strands is not easily broken: you, your man, and Jesus and in all things- trust the Lord with all your heart, all your mind, and all your strength.
I totally agree with u.. Regardless of what sin we’ve committed, God is there and actually very ready to embrace and forgive u. Your marriage is blessed even now so ignore anything or anyone that tries to make you feel guilty.. each of us is flawed in our own way
That’s very harsh, and frankly, you’re judgemental. “Who is he that condemns? It is Christ that died, and have risen again.” (Romans 8:34).
Haven’t you read that, “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and ro cleanse us from all unrighteousnes (1 John 1:9)?” I would have thought that as a christian, you ought to encourage and not discourage.
My GF and I are Christians, and are living together. We have been sexually active in our dating relationship. We have talked about getting married, but have not set it in stone yet. Personally, I don’t see the problem with having sex with someone that you Love and Live with. What difference is it to be together with God in our lives, and be together with God, and a piece of paper that says we are married? I don’t understand how Christians today will take this part of the Bible, and say we can’t have sex until we are married, but totally ignore many other parts of the Bible. OK, so now my GF wants to wait, but we still live together. This is very difficult for me, because I have been married in the past, and all have cheated on me when I was deployed. Now I am suppose to just be able to stop, and have no desire with my GF? She doesn’t want to live seperately, but she doesn’t want sex anymore either and wants to wait until we are married. Is that pressure for me to ask her? Is this a test? I am in Love with her and her kids. I take good care of all of them. I do not believe Jesus will keep me out of Heaven for making Love to someone that I Love and am in Love with. Comments.
Firstly, if you and your girlfriend were true Christians you wouldn’t even be living together unmarried, let alone fornicating (1 thessalonians 5:22). The scripture says clearly that fornication, that is sex before marriage, is a sin (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:18,1 Corinthians 10:8, Galatians 5:19, Acts 15:29, Jude 1:7,Ephesians 5:3 etc). Also, what parts of the Bible do Christians “totally ignore”? And of course it’s pressure to ask, as you’d be pressuring her to sin against God. “I do not believe Jesus will keep me out of Heaven for making Love to someone”, of course you will be kept out of heaven for having sex with someone who is not your spouse (1 Corinthians 6:9, Ephesians 5:5 etc). What are you going to say next, that you don’t believe that Jesus will keep murderers, drunkards, adulterers or homosexuals out of heaven?
I understand your questions about sex. I think the issue with premarital sex isn’t just to deny us pleasure and physical love with someone. He is promising satisfying love and freedom of expression for just one person. Our God is a very intimate God and he demands our all. He died to have all of you, not just part of you. I am sorry about your previous marriage; I really am.
Living together before marriage is like playing house. Couples live together waiting until someone messes up; then they can leave. Marriage is a commitment to love one another no matter what. I know that probably seems null and void because of what happened in your life. However, Christ compares his relationship with us as a marriage. We are his bride and he loves us despite our problems. He loves us even though we cheat on him and forget about him. He loves us even though we spend time doing other things than being with him. He is a lover. He stays with us through all things. His passionate commitment to us should be our model for marriage. Humans are broken and we do hurtful things. We break promises, but Jesus doesn’t.
If you read Song of Songs (which is very sexual. It doesn’t seem that way because of fruit references, but if you read it with a “dirty mind” it totally works), you’ll see how Solomon rejoices with his wife (despite the fact he had 1,000 women: wives and concubines combined). They celebrate sex as a gift only for them. God made sex to be his wedding present. It’s two people becoming one. I can’t tell you a whole lot because I have not had sex. My fiance and I are waiting. I have had to battle the, “why can’t we have sex before marriage?” because of the temptation and feelings in my life. Many of my friends justify it and they give me sex advice. I encourage you to go to God and talk to him about it. Let him tell you sex’s purpose. Let him guide you.
It’s easy to look at controversial scripture references and say, “why do I need to do that when others don’t do these parts?”, but remember- the Holy Spirit is inside of you. He is going to lead you. He’ll hold us accountable to the truths we know. We are called to obedience when things don’t make sense, but we can trust that when God asks us to trust him, he will follow through. We can’t have God and love sin. We will have to choose. It’s not easy and I’m not trying to make myself stand on a pedestal, because I am far from perfect. My fiance and I are working out a lot of issues. It’s tough. We’re struggling, but we’re pressing through knowing that God’s got something amazing waiting for us. He has something amazing waiting for you and your girlfriend too. Let him lead you both- and he will be with you. Trust him. Give him your relationship and see what happens! No matter what, he loves you and will be there.
Be encouraged and know how loved you and your girlfriend are!
Actually, that isn’t true at all. Entrance into heaven has absolutely nothing to do with a person’s ability to stop sinning. As humans, ALL of us fall short of the glory of God. every single day. despite our efforts to please Him. That’s why turning away from sin is not something that you can do on your own. Entrance into heaven is about grace. Christ died for the sins of humanity. not just for the sins you committed before you were saved, but the sins you will commit tomorrow and every day for the rest of your life. It is human nature to sin, but if you accept the grace that was given to you when Christ died for you, you are forgiven. And God doesn’t have a “grading scale” for sin. Everything is equal in his eyes. lying is equal to murder. and to if a man or a woman has looked at another with desire then in the eyes of God they have committed adultery in their hearts. The problem with premarital sex is that God designed sex to be incredible and amazing. Our bodies were designed to want and crave sex. not being married doesn’t negate the desire of our hearts and our bodies. And sex is the only sin that is only a sin before you’re married. after that, it’s more than okay. it’s great. in fact, the bible encourages it and talks about it in great detail. The reason waiting is such a challenge is because our bodies were designed to want it. it’s not easy, but you can stay pure. repent and ask forgiveness and for God to help you turn away from sin. But you won’t be kept out of heaven for sinning…of any kind…if you’re really saved. And your marriage will not be “condemned” by God. That’s ridiculous. and actually, uncalled for, to be quite honest. No one has any room to judge anyone else because of their sins. Only God can do that. Carla–judge not lest ye be judged. Don’t condemn someone else just because they sin differently than you do.
Nope, you’re wrong. You can try to justify your sinful behavior all you want, but Jesus’ crucifixion doesn’t give you a free license to sin. Like it or not, the Bible states that if you do not repent and turn away from your wickedness (and blatant disobedience against God), you CAN lose your salvation. I suggest you re-read your Bible.
While the Bible makes it very clear that sex outside of marriage is wrong … you cannot lose your salvation if you sin – the Bible is also very clear about that … in fact that is very strange thinking. There is a very good chance that you will ‘screw-up’ once in your lifetime … you will still be saved.
I want to live a life without sin. I am not saying I can do this on my own, but with GOD’S help we all can live without sin! I am so glad that JESUS saved and sanctified me, and can keep me clean and pure, I just want and need to trust in HIM! ?? You can live a life without sin through GOD! If you do sin just ask forgiveness and continue on for GOD, do not give up! Have faith and trust in GOD. JESUS Saves:) GOD Bless!
I think CB that you are forgetting the rest of Ephesians 5. Right after Ephesians 5:5, Paul talks about how now we are children of light; we were once in darkness but through Jesus’s death we are forgiven. As Christians, we still sin, but! It is the grace of God that allows us into heaven. You are correct in that Paul also talks about how we are not to use our freedom to indulge in sinful pleasures. That is true. Sinful nature however extends beyond sexual sins. It includes pride, haughtiness, religious piety, hatred, lying, drunkenness, and many others. It is possible that you are forgetting the absolute amazingness of grace. Is it possible that you haven’t trusted God’s grace to free you from sin? The mouth speaks the overflow of the heart- so what is hurting you?
Carla commented above that if John and his girlfriend were real Christians they wouldn’t be living together. That’s wrong. It’s not ok to judge someone else’s walk with the Lord because that is only the Holy Spirit’s job. Do I agree with John and his girlfriend? No, but I understand what is going on. I think they are both scared and John doesn’t want to lose the love of his life. I think that maybe there should be a step of faith taken and either get married or live apart until they do so, but we have to know that we didn’t experience everything he did. We need to show sympathy, compassion, and empathy for others while speaking and holding onto truth. John’s been hurt from a previous marriage, so I understand why he and his girlfriend are living together. Does it make it right? No, it doesn’t.
A verse to consider when you use Scripture is this: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” Ephesians 4: 29. Scripture needs to be taken carefully because what we say will come back to judge us if not used properly.
Who’s to determine who Jesus will allow into heaven or not? Jesus forgave an adulterer by asking her if there was anyone left to condemn her and telling her that he would not condemn her as well. Jesus declared that if ANYONE is without sin then they should throw the first stone. From reading a lot of the negative comments it hurts to see how enraged and immature christians can be online (I used to be there) and the devil knows the bible better than any Christian but completely misses out on the gift of grace through Jesus.
while it is true there is no grading scale of sin (or maybe there is?), there is one thing for sure. god’s command for sexual purity is zero tolerance, total abstinence regarding sexual intimacy before marriage. imagine 2 columns. one is god’s way, the other is ‘your’ way. zero is god’s way. 1, 10 or 100 belongs in the other column. does that paint a clear picture? now it is understood that it would be logical to say that a guy or girl, who has had ‘only’ one sexual encounter prior to marriage vs. someone who has had 10 or 100 is ‘better’, but this not god’s standard. this is based upon our own preconceived relative standards. my point it that god’s standards are high, but praise and glory, his grace reaches even greater heights. one other note to consider: the bible clearly does distinguish sexual sin ‘different’ than others for 1 Corinthians 6:18 says ” [GOD’S WORD® Translation] Stay away from sexual sins. Other sins that people commit don’t affect their bodies the same way sexual sins do. People who sin sexually sin against their own bodies.” that should be a warning to christians that god is serious about ‘his’ temple, YOUR BODY, which houses his holy spirit, and keeping it clean. bottom line. we, in our humanity are imperfect and fail, but god’s grace is infinite enough to cover any and all sexual sins we commit.
Me and my boyfriend are both Christians. I grew up in a independent Baptist Church and he grew up in a Southern Baptist Church. (not sure the difference or if there is one) I went threw a lot as a little girl, i was sexually abused by someone who went to my church years ago.. this happened to me when i was five i didn’t understand what had happened until i got a little bit older and realized what that man had done to me was wrong. I never told my parents cause at five years old i didn’t know that if i told mommy and daddy it would go away I was more scared of that man hurting me. So my teenage years were hard.. i didn’t understand how someone who went to church would do something like that to me..(he is no longer a member at my church or in the US so i believe) So of course unlike other five year old’s i was forced to mentally grow up faster. Well i started being sexually active in my 11th grade year of High School with a guy i dated for 2 years and i had the hardest time believing, accepting what had happened i didnt know a way out i took all that had happened to me as a young girl and what had happened with my boyfriend againts myself he had to kind of help me get over being so timid with my body cause i hated my body i didnt like anyone touching me because of what had happened to me he would say to me “babe do you love me?” “we are going to get married anyways i’m your first and last” wasn’t exactly what i needed.. imagine how much mental disrupption that was (he didnt understand why i was so upset) Of course growing up in church my dream was to get married in white and to wait till marriage..i wish i would have.. we later brooke up and that was even harder, cause i felt worthless. I fell into depression for a long time and God helped me threw it and so i began to love myself cause i knew i was loved.. so since i started being sexually active i kind of felt like i had to do it which brings Me to today, Luckily i have an amazing boyfriend who is so good to me we began to be sexually active again and i know it is wrong and i DONT WANT TO do it anymore i’m tired of knowing it is wrong and i’m tired of holding a lot againts me i’ve talked to him about it and he says he will support me and that it’s ok he won’t be dissapointed cause he is not with me for that.. I just ask for prayers for us both and thank God i stumbled across this page this is such an encouragement for me. Please do share your advice i’am in need of it. How can we both stay commited to staying pure till marriage? Tips??
I took time reading through responses, views & opinion regarding sexual purity here. And i understand that the word Grace & Christ is been used interchangeably. What i have to say here is what apostle Paul once asked; shall we continue to sin that grace may abound? And he said Certainly Not. See, i quite agree that the human nature is sinful as clearly stated in the bible but to be honest, we should try and avoid certain things we know is capable of bringing temptation of sin our way. Especially thos within the confined of our ability. For example, boy and girl living together without marriage. We can avoid this. Yes Christ died for us but God through his word has laid a standard for us to follow. Christ said, if you must follow me, you have to carry your cross. What does that mean? Honestly its not easy at all but i pray God help us all. But one thing i do know is that making heaven is not a function of our effort. By grace are ye saved not of works lets anyone should boast. By strength shall no man prevail. This are biblical statements. Its obvious we have to rely on God in this system of things. My own case is even terrible but every day, i trust God to see me through. I don’t let my sins pull me down. God knows my heart and my willingness to live by his standard. But when i fall, i repent and ask God to help me. Most times i cried because i am not happy but then i draw strength from God’s word and i move on. I hope my opinion will help someone one.
Perfect, Moses. God bless you. He loves you and He cares for you. Stay encouraged and continue to renew your mind.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We’re both Christian, but we are sexually active. I used to be a believer when I was younger and now I’m trying to get back to , but my boyfriend doesn’t understand that. He thinks (and I used to think so too) that since we really love each other and are thinking of getting married in the future, being sexually active is not a sin.
The things are complicated now because we are also moving in together… The decision was made and the 6 month lease was signed before I really came to understand the sin we’re committing. I don’t have the means to pay for my own place now. Moreover, I love my boyfriend very much and I’m scared to push him into finding another girl on the side or leaving me… I know that sounds naive but I don’t know what to do. If anyone experienced a similar situation and found a way out of it, please let me know.
I wanna go visit my friends at their school, probably go visit my girlfriend too. This time around, I’m going to stay with her and prove her wrong that will could actually stay together without involvement of sex. Hallelujah. With d level of anointing in me, I’m very confident I well certainly pass this temptation in Jesus name…Amen.
Im 38 and have bn trying to get my ex to sign divorce papers, he wont. I am now in a relationship with a man who was raised in church like me and we want to marry but the unsigned divorce is keeping us on hold..we do live together for about 6months now and i feel GOD can’t bless us even though in our hearts we are as one..what do we do
My boyfriend and I have known each other for about a year now. Last May I gave into sexual temptations and had sex with him, he was my first. However, I was not his first. We still are sexually active and i feel guilty about it but at the same time I enjoy it and I love him very much. NOT just for sexual reasons. I feel like he is my soulmate and if he proposed to me I know I would say yes. I know sex before marriage is wrong which is why I have this guilt. Because I had sex before marriage does that mean I ruined our chance of us becoming married and staying married and committed to each other??
Itz almost a year dat i nd my girlfriend met each other but i dnt use dat name “girlfriend”coz it meanz “sex partners”we re just partners preparing for our future nd we dnt wnt anything dat wl act as hindrance to our journey…..b4 we started our friendship,i asked her dat z it marriage b4 sex? Nd she sayz yes nd datz all,……. DNT LET SIN TERMINATE UR FUTURE…….RUN AWAY FRM SIN ND IT SHALL FLEE FRM THEE….
this is for carla, what have you done that, you belive u cnt be forgiven? Cause only a person who doesn’t belive he will be forgiven himself, wil tell other’s they cant be forgiven , bt belive me every sin u confess wl be forgvn, doesnt mean we should seen, bt if we do fall God wil pick us up, cause if he didnt where would we be, so carla pry n God wil deliver u frm evil, stay strng, n hope God helps u.
My prayer for us all in this discussion is that we come together and stay away from division, especially as Christians. The Bible says ‘How can two walk together unless they agree?”
I am currently courting with a Christian man. We’ve been courting for 5 months. We have been struggling as well but I am convinced that God will deliver us out of our sinful ways. We had a 1 hour conversation about refraining from sexual immorality and the hills of temptation. (In case you’re confused, touching private areas and fondling is sinful- Read Epheians 5 where it says we shouldn’t have a hint of sexual immorality in us.)I have been reading Heather Lindsey’s ‘Pink Lips & Empty Hearts’ book. I must say the book has been convicting me! She comes off judgmental but I know she’s not. I don’t know if I should pursue this courtship any longer since we committed sin already. The problem for me is, my boyfriend does not know the Word as much as I do. He, like some of you, believed there’s nothing wrong with being sexually active if you know you are going to marry the person. I am convinced he is refraining from sex because he respects me. But I don’t want a man to respect me only. I want a man who respects and fears the Lord. A man who longs to please God and a man who is after God’s heart. I told him on Saturday that he is not saved and I need him to grow spiritually so that I can be submissive to him when we get married. I need my future husband to know the Word more than me so that he can be the head. So that he can encourage and guide our family down the path of righteousness. I encouraged him in the Word and he seemed really receptive. He even told me yesterday that he wants to seperate for a few days so that he can focus on God’s voice and read the Word. Obviously, it takes more than a few days but I think God is answering my prayers with my boyfriend. I think a big setback is the fact that he’s dyslexic and a car accident has given him difficulty reading and expressing himself. But I am soo trusting of my Lord. I am reminded how God used Moses, a man who had difficulty communicating, to free His people from bondage. I really love this man but I just want to make sure that I love Christ more and that I am fully obedient to His commands.
Wow! It has been great reading ideas of varioys people. But my joy is that all are leading to the same path as NO dont do it before marriage. For real, we are called by God himself but the Lord says not all who call Lord Lord will inherit the kingdom. Do not be discouraged when u r gudged for God is the final judge. My advice to my brothers and sisters is, REPENT TO GOD START A FRESH IN THE GUIDANCE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT being cautious of the voice that u listen to. Read the bible n let it rebuke correct n encourage u.
I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex love back. I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when I meet a friend that introduce me to DR Olawole the great messenger to the whole world who God has given him the grace to help people in their relationships, I narrated my problem to DR Olawole about how my ex love left me and also how I needed to get a job in a very big company. He only said to me that i have come to the right place were I will be getting my heart desire without any side effect. He told me what i need to do, After it was been done, In the next 2 days, My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness, I was called for an interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director.. I am so happy and overwhelmed that I have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR Olawole at the following email address and get all your problem solve.. No problem is too big for him to solve. Contact him direct on: email@example.com And get your problems solve like me….. ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: firstname.lastname@example.org?II will not stop sharing his name because he done a very great job for me now my mind is full of happiness
I really appreciate this question and this answer because I am going
through the same experience. Its like no matter how much we are
sorrowful after committing fornication we go right back to doing it. We
always say we will not see each other or he wont come over but he always
ends up over my place and we keep doing it. We always pray, read the
word and fast together but the sexual desire always takes greater effect
on us. I finally put my foot down and told him we need to break it off a
bit to get our spiritual lives back to where they were as we both agree
pleasing God is more important and that we will have more than enough
time to make love after we are both married. Today is day two since we
have spoken and I am really sad because he is my soul mate and I really
love him, but I am drawing closer to God and I am starting to feel much
better. We have a beach date planned for May with friends and family. I
am really excited and looking forward to it. I strongly believe that
this time apart will really help us to have greater self control over
our sexual desires. I guess for the very first time in my entire life I
found a genuine guy who I not only can tolerate but actually loves,
respect and willing to have sex with. He wants the exact things I want
in life: to serve God and to build a beautiful family. His family loves
me and my family loves him. I believe he loves me more than I love him
and he respects my choices a lot. Even this harsh one I made regarding
taking time apart. I even asked the Lord to let him get an opportunity
to go abroad so we could stop having sex. I even asked God to let me
start resenting him but the more I am with him is the closer I want to
be. Its like all my problems just vanish and I want to always be with
him. I lose track of time when I am with him, I can be exactly who I am
and I can trust him with my feelings and my life. But our relationship
with God is being abused and we don’t want to be fornicators anymore.
This step may be drastic but we know it is good for us in the long run.
Hey Christiangirl. I am actually going through the same exact thing! During this time did you all not talk to each other at all? Also curious how did things turn out for you?
Married now. During the time we TRIED to stop talking to each other but it was hard and eventually after couple days we were back together. Back to stage one all over until we got married eventually.
We are happy physically and materially but our spiritual man is dying within. We are currently looking to go back to Church and to get the restoration we should have gotten before we got married.
Will keep you updated. Keep us in your prayers please. God bless.
It IS very hard to avoid sex, once you engage in it.
Once a Christian girl gives herself to a man, she finds she enjoys all those new feelings & sensations he gives her.
She finds she loves his passionate thrusts & really isn’t so worried he may not be a Christian, like her.
He knows she’s a Christian & likes the fact that he gets to be the first to push into her, burst her holy hymen & “introduce” her to the real world of sex & dating..
Almost the same thing here as well but I’m not entirely sure he wants to stop. We still talk often; he’s my best friend. But its sooo frustrating and confusing because as much as I know we’re meant to be together, because I broke up with him, he’s sure we’ll never have a future again. I really have no clue how to approach this situation again. I may or may not really need advice per se, but I could definitely use the prayers. Thanks ??
Keellz will keep you in prayers. Relationships arent easy one bit. But as I experienced. God can help us through any situation. Just keep believing in him, go to Church when you can and keep reading His word.
I am going through the same with my girlfriend. I wanted to propose but it keeps getting delayed. Now I understand that God wants us to confess our sins first. I realized that’s what’s stopping me from proposing… but we have already discussed about havinga family together… getting married…
Now I just wonder if It’s our decision is just right… to still have means of communication but lesser right now and not expecting that the other side will be texting or replying immediately. We we’re advised to stop dating for the mean time and have restoration with our relationship with the Lord.
I hope you could respond and tell me your thoughts. God bless
Joshua Ballentesteros. We got married and we haven’t been to church in probably a year. -( We are still in love but the peace of God and the rest we had sweetly saved and sanctified is being overridden with anger and upset and bitterness. We argue and that is NOT us. But that’s what happens when God’s words are not in our hearts and we stop seeking him so much or praying as much.
Marriage is HARD WORK and the only one that will help you through it is God himself who ordained marriage. So My advise to you and yours would be seek restorations from God FIRST before you get married. Before you take another step. Ask yourself, am I myself spiritually, physically, financially or mentally prepared to take on this HUGE step.?
Dear friends online, my name is Ibolo, I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex husband 2years ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, i was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine (Angela) told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is Dr Ogbe.So i emailed him email@example.com the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr Ogbe for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me. If you are going through hard life and you need help in problems such as:
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(4) If you want a child.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(9) Let people obey your words and do your wish
INFORMATION NEEDED BY HIM TO PROCEED:
Contact him on his email again on (firstname.lastname@example.org) and be blessed.
I am Shannon by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address email@example.com, have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.Aisabu. His email: firstname.lastname@example.org …
This is a fact that i know and every woman that will be reading this also know. We will do anything possible to keep or get the one one we love though we might go about it in different ways but what does it matter how we went about it all that matters, is that we get them. My now husband for two years was not always in love with me me he only saw me as this close friend and personal assistance. He was married to a very beautiful nice woman. I always prayed i would get to have a very happy family like the he had with his ex wife. You could fill the love and passion in the air just as you walk into their home. This ought not be be my story to tell but still i will because he is my husband now. After four years of their beautiful marriage, i say beautiful because they loved each other at least i know my husband loved her then. His ex wife out got really sick he developed stroke. It was really bad but he never left her side he always always there for her. He was always in the hospital with her day and night. I just though he was the bravest and caring man that i have ever know. And yeah, she got well but not all the way i mean she came back but not her love and affection. I don’t know maybe it was the sickness that changed her or she never really loved my husband and felt he was the cause of her problem her sickness and all the bad things that had happened to her since they meant. She gave him hell, she got mad at him over every little thing she stopped him form seeing all his friend and female friends and even made him fire me. She was obsessed with things like he was cheating on her and his friends are telling him to leave her. She was diagnosed and was free form psychological break down. I don’t know she just developed hatred for my now husband. She constantly threatened to take everything form him his house, constructing firm and even with that he still loved her. He would complain to me all day about what’s happening telling me how he wants to fix thing between him and her even when it became really bad that they no longer shared the same bed she would not let him touch her. I thought it was my chance with him but i was fooling myself because yeah i told him how i felt for him and i thrown myself at him but it did not work he still wanted to be with his wife. He live like that with her for one year. I loved him and he was suffering i wanted to set him free from her so i contacted a powerful spell caster Obudun Magonata to help me make him love me. He asked me to get some materials which was hard for me to find because i would have had to break many laws and got my self in trouble so i just wired the expense to him and after four days my wise came true he loved me just as he love his ex wife i was the apple of the eye just like how he was the apple of my eye but Obudun Magonata told me that his ex wife would let let us be and she will frustrate our love until we give up and just as he told me it happened he wanted 70% of everything my husband had and the court was already in her favor plus she was from a very powerful family. That brought another problem he was ready to loss all he had for us but still he did not want to loss them but thanks to Obudun Magonata He helped use with another spell that made her drop the case and just signed the papers to let use be together. I t was mind blowing what Obudun Magonata did for us it not just as you read now it was so supernatural. Even before i had my first child he told me that we will last forever till death because of the two kids i will bear for him. Its also coming to pass i have a 2 years old son and i am pregnant for the second child now.Only those like me who Obudun Magonata have helped knows how powerful he is. Only him can solve the unsolved if you need his help use this email SPIRITSOFOBUDUNMAGONATA @(YAHOO).COM rewrite this email in the standard email format to use
If you have been reading comment online about this spell caster Obudun Magonata it will be easy for me to tell you this that he couldn’t get any more really that he is already. I have come to a conclusion that the gift he possess and his good heart are the strongest most powerful thing i have ever known. He is the most straight forward person and most understanding anyone can ever meet. He did not even ask for my money he just asked me to get materials that will be needed for the spell and that was it. To start, i am an alcoholic and also have a strong addiction for gambling. I lost almost a 100 grand on internet gambling and still did not stop at the same time i was drinking heavily i got suspended form work for a duration of four years because of my drinking problem & my home, i destroyed it with by myself. I was unfaithful to my wife several times and she knew what was happening, i kept yelling over nothing on my girls. My addiction to gambling and drinking was complimentary i was losing a lot of money and still playing and was drinking a lot to calm my nerves. The addiction made me numb my feelings was gone. My wife , my girls saw me as a monster. I remember this day, my wife told me it as my second girl’s birthday the other week and my responds was “grown *** girls don’t celebrate their birthday and if she wanted to she can as well go get a job so she can use want she earn to celebrate every day of her life”. I still can’t believe i said that to my wife and on top of that her sister was right there. My wife was hurt it was written all over her face her face and she told me ” I don’t even know who you are any more where is the man that use to be the human shield of this family ? that man would never had said anything to hurt me or his kids you don’t even care that you are scaring h*** out of this girls? one more of this and i am out” there i told her i don’t need them they were weighing me down that there were burden on me. Those words still hunts me till this day i can believe i really said all those words. My wife left me and off course with the kids and foolish drunk me happily signed the divorce papers. Honestly i don’t know maybe it because i was drunk most of the the day, i felt go i get gambling and kept drinking losing big and winning little waking up with different ladies on my bed every morning. I was like this for two years, and i felt i was on top of the world but my friend made me see i had nothing anymore his wife won’t let him talk to me or hang out with me i gradually felt empty. At a point i saw i needed to get clean and actually committed to my self to AA off course it was hard to admit but with my friends help i got committed. I was six months clean from alcohol and gambling when i discovered my wife was see another man and they were going to get married. I was still in love with her. She was mad when she saw me, she wanted nothing to do with me, my girls hated me because of me they could not even look at me. I tried to get close and got a restraining order. I needed to be my family again i know i ruined it by myself i just wanted to make it up to them i failed then and i wanted to redeem myself to show them the man that use to be the human shield of his family is back i found him again. Obudun Magonata was the man that help me made it happen. It was the course of find a away to reach my wife i found this great spell caster. I did not have the privilege of meeting but like he told other he had helped, some of them met him in real time. He told me after the spell casting my wife , my child will love me like we never fell apart they would know i messed up but they will not care about it any more. I got the materials that was required of me by i got i mean i asked him to help me sending over to him the total cost because most of the materials where only found in the heart of Libya. Just after the spell process was concluded a package was sent to me i can’t disclose its content but it rest easy it could not even harm a fly. He told me what to do with it and all he said will happen happened. I had my family back my wife , my child and i are once again that happy family i lost. I was still on suspension he told he i will get a call to come back to work and i did just after all he did for me. This spell caster he has something that saves lives.
Am glad i met him all he promised me he did i wish i could me more grateful. I will leave his email contact like those other person that did in there comment or article which ever this is spiritsofobudunmagonata ‘ at ‘ ‘ yahoo ‘ ‘ dot ‘ ‘ com
Thank you Dr.Olorun for helping me to unite my relationship just within the period of 48 hours. I can still remember those period when i was having problems with my lover but today through the help of Dr.Olorun i am having joy in my relationship. And if you are having problems in your relationship the right place to get it solved is at: Olorunoduduwaspiritualtemple@gmail.com, By his help all your problems will be solved within 48 hours
My Name is carina, From Singapore. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called DR.Kasee, For what he has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex Husband to me with his great spell, I was married to my husband 11yrs ago and we were together for a 14yrs and we loved ourselves but when I was unable to give him a child,he left me for 6 months ago and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave me his contact email(email@example.com) then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost hsband back to me and also he help me and i am now pregnant for my husband. You can also contact him via email: firstname.lastname@example.org
If you have been reading comment online about this spell caster Akpe Osilama it will be easy for me to tell you this that he couldn’t get any more really that he is already. I have come to a conclusion that the gift he possess and his good heart are the strongest most powerful thing i have ever known. He is the most straight forward person and most understanding anyone can ever meet. He did not even ask for my money he just asked me to get materials that will be needed for the spell and that was it. To start, i am an alcoholic and also have a strong addiction for gambling. I lost almost a 100 grand on internet gambling and still did not stop at the same time i was drinking heavily i got suspended form work for a duration of four years because of my drinking problem & my home, i destroyed it with by myself. I was unfaithful to my wife several times and she knew what was happening, i kept yelling over nothing on my girls. My addiction to gambling and drinking was complimentary i was losing a lot of money and still playing and was drinking a lot to calm my nerves. The addiction made me numb my feelings was gone. My wife , my girls saw me as a monster. I remember this day, my wife told me it as my second girl’s birthday the other week and my responds was “grown *** girls don’t celebrate their birthday and if she wanted to she can as well go get a job so she can use want she earn to celebrate every day of her life”. I still can’t believe i said that to my wife and on top of that her sister was right there. My wife was hurt it was written all over her face her face and she told me ” I don’t even know who you are any more where is the man that use to be the human shield of this family ? that man would never had said anything to hurt me or his kids you don’t even care that you are scaring h*** out of this girls? one more of this and i am out” there i told her i don’t need them they were weighing me down that there were burden on me. Those words still hunts me till this day i can believe i really said all those words. My wife left me and off course with the kids and foolish drunk me happily signed the divorce papers. Honestly i don’t know maybe it because i was drunk most of the the day, i felt go i get gambling and kept drinking losing big and winning little waking up with different ladies on my bed every morning. I was like this for two years, and i felt i was on top of the world but my friend made me see i had nothing anymore his wife won’t let him talk to me or hang out with me i gradually felt empty. At a point i saw i needed to get clean and actually committed to my self to AA off course it was hard to admit but with my friends help i got committed. I was six months clean from alcohol and gambling when i discovered my wife was see another man and they were going to get married. I was still in love with her. She was mad when she saw me, she wanted nothing to do with me, my girls hated me because of me they could not even look at me. I tried to get close and got a restraining order. I needed to be my family again i know i ruined it by myself i just wanted to make it up to them i failed then and i wanted to redeem myself to show them the man that use to be the human shield of his family is back i found him again. Akpe Osilama was the man that help me made it happen. It was the course of find a away to reach my wife i found this great spell caster. I did not have the privilege of meeting but like he told other he had helped, some of them met him in real time. He told me after the spell casting my wife , my child will love me like we never fell apart they would know i messed up but they will not care about it any more. I got the materials that was required of me by i got i mean i asked him to help me sending over to him the total cost because most of the materials where only found in the heart of Libya. Just after the spell process was concluded a package was sent to me i can’t disclose its content but it rest easy it could not even harm a fly. He told me what to do with it and all he said will happen happened. I had my family back my wife , my child and i are once again that happy family i lost. I was still on suspension he told he i will get a call to come back to work and i did just after all he did for me. This spell caster he has something that saves lives. Am glad i met him all he promised me he did i wish i could me more grateful. I will leave his email contact like those other person that did in there comment or article which ever this is chiefpriestakpeosilamaspellcast ‘ at ‘ ‘ yahoo ‘ ‘ dot ‘ ‘ com
We all have different reasons why those of us who contacted Akpe Osilama to help us make our faithful to us some of us did it for lover, because of their children or health condition or even because they wanted not to be alone. For me it was non of those though i love my husband and don’t want to raise our teens alone . The reason why i contacted Akpe Osilama to help me with a spell truly was because my husband was running for one of the seats in the Riksdag,the national legislative body of Sweden. Now i am not going to say if he won or under what party for security reasons i did not ask for a spell to make him win or something NO i just asked for a spell to make him stop being a chronic Womanizer it was going to affect his campaign. I have lived with him for 20 years and after countless occasions of catching him cheating on me i have come to live with him like that though it hurts to death. I wish i knew all along all those years about Akpe the Great spell caster maybe my life would not have been this way. Like i was saying, His womanizing behavior got him into a lot of trouble and if any of those stories where to hit the press it would have destroyed his life and this political career and probably landed him in jail. With all the advise from me and his advisories of his campaigning team it was still not enough to bring him to caution. I went to the extreme to make sure he stops willingly or unwillingly that is i meant with some of his lover and asked to pay them off but they were not ready to let go it. I think he offered them something more that money that even with the amount i offered them, they all refused and believe me it was very surprising and they will turn down a large amount of money. We my husband got to know about it he mad mad at me and gave all sort of threats. I was confused and his opposition were digging to find dirt on him and still was so convinced that they will not find anything but they did only with no evidence that was how lucky we were. Right then i took matters in my hand and contacted Akpe Osilama with the email address i saw on the internet i contacted him and told him what i want him to do for me to make my husband be faithful to me till our dying day and make all those people looking for how to bring down my husband stop. OK note my husband is a very honest man who would not hurt a fly he was just careless and always picked the wrong kinds of woman that get him in trouble. Akpe Osilama asked that i provide 4 kind of item me being so careful employed expert to help me get those materials mailed them over to him. I sent a total some of 3000 dollars when converting from Swedish Krona to American dollars. And it much much cheaper if i had asked him to get them for me. But whats done is done. Just after four day sent me a package, not telling its content but is totally harmless and told me how to make the spell effective. I did as he told me and in two my husband somehow magically broke tires with all the women he was involved with i don’t know how it happen and those people trying to kill his political ambition stopped immediately. I wish i knew this Great man all along my life would have been perfect. His campaign team did not understand how i did it and what i did they were just happy all the worse is past. What wow me the most about Akpe Osilama was that he told me the out come of the election before the election date last year because all this happened last year and just what he said will happen really came to pass. And again i can’t give full info because of security reasons. I little advise for those that are going to contact him via this email (chiefpriestakpeosilamaspellcast@ (yahoo). com) rewrite to usual email format if you are asked for material to do the spell don’t go about it yourself Because you will waste a lot time and money on it and get to see asking him to get them for you with the total cost you wire to him will save you a lot. You have nothing be be afraid you can trust him with anything Because all he does is help people no matter how hard it may be. Gelina Mattson
This comment i Susan is placing is not like the day by day advert you read online before!! Its a comment that you must read to avoid been ripped off and know the real spell caster on earth God sent to change and turn lives around without any harm / side effect.
I am so over joyful as my month can not start to say all that really happened, It happened when i saw Ajayi advert online talking about been the best when there are so many spell casters online that i have used that has failed me.I spent almost close to $8000 dollars online for those spell casters that ripped me off my money without any result. But when i saw Dr Ajayi advert online saying that there is no spell caster like him and so many other testimonies about him from various people and from various countries in the world were it was written that ololo spell temple is the best that there is non to be compared to his work, Already i have personally take a decision never to apply to any spell caster online again after loosing such amount of funds on line to those scammers.But i don’t really know what drew my spirit / attention to that advert online that faithful afternoon, < I call it a faithful afternoon because all i desire was granted to me. >There was an email at the end of his advert and on the good comment from the FBI and various people about him, I decided to send him an email telling him my problem about my lost job, money that i have lost to scammers and also having problems with the love of my life that i want to get married to. After some few minutes i received an email from him that contain the spell application form that i filled out and he told me that to get my spell casted that i will have to get some items that i could not get here when i went in-search for it. He said if i can not get the items, That is going to cost me an amount of just $390 dollars for my kind of case that i told him about which i doubted to be another scam online, As i have read so many tips online that money should not be sent to someone you do not know via western union / money gram payment information’s. And Dr Ajayi insisted that i will be sending money to his messenger via this wire means. I was so skeptical because i was scammed in such a way of $700 dollars before,But this same spirits that attracted me to his advert told me inside again that this spell caster is real and noting but real that i should go ahead and send him the amount since i know that there is no how i can get the items that he told me that will be needed for my case. I sent him the charges through his messenger to please help me get the item with the money to get my spell casted.He promised me that in the next 5 to 7 hours that i will start to see results after the spell has been casted to get the love of my life back and others. I could not believe this because i have really been scammed and ripped off too many times for me to just believe till it works. To be sincere i almost faint as i was filled with so much excitement and happiness when my lost lover for over almost 9 months call was entering my phone and i picked the call were he ask if we can see to take things over and also my boss called me to tell me to come for training on my terminated job also due to too many thinking that in the office that result to it. Then in the next 2 days the FBI called to tell me that they have been able to get the scammer that is with my money. I am so proud and happy to spread the good-news about this man because he surprised me in his wonderful and powerfully work that restored back to me my heart desires. One thing that i also loved about this man is that he is understandable and he reduce or negotiate how much you can get for the work you want him to help you with. You want to meet with this great,most powerful spell caster that is 100% scam free,Just send your emails to this email: ajayiololo @ yahoo . com as you will get help from him without any disappointment.
That is what confession is for number one, then you have to respect each other to not treat each other as pleasure boats number two. JPII tells us we are attracted to the others physical body and the others emotional state. If we treat the other just as a means to an end, then we are not respecting the entire person. We then use the other as a means to an end, even if it’s a good. That good should not be the end in itself. You cannot give what you don’t have to give. The making love is an act of gift of self. This gift of self can only be given in the blessed state of marriage. Without the blessing and security of marriage are the couple really free to give each other fully to the other, otherwise they risk falling into the trap of utilitarianism of each others bodies. For more reading explore the theology of the body by saint John Paul II
Hello! So here is my situation that I have constantly been in prayer about. My boyfriend and I of pretty much three years have really been receiving convictions from the Lord to stop engaging in pre-marital sex and draw closer to him. He was a virgin before I met him and because I am the only one he’s ever been with, even though he could have any other woman/girl in the world and does not have to go through this process with me, he has made it clear that he has no desire to be anywhere else with anyone else. I experience a lot of feelings of hindrance just because before getting my convictions on impurity from the Lord and previously being impure with others before him, I felt as though I took away his chance in a sense. As hard of a process as it is “getting to know each other again” in a sense, he has consistently given me the response that he wants to be with me, successfully get through this courtship together, and build on our spirituality together. Taking the sex away, going through this journey of celibacy, I am still in love with him just as much as I was before it all happened but I miss that part of our relationship so much, we both do. We’re trying to figure out how to do celibacy God’s way and build on our personal relationship with him together, and as individuals, anyone going through a similar situation as of recent that has any tips/advice on how they’re getting through it in addition to prayer? Email me @ email@example.com!
I am currently going through a similar situation. We engaged in pre-marital sex during our courtship but one day with both looked at each other and made a decision to stop until we get married. The walk through celibacy and understanding the boundaries we have put in place has been hard, but what we both made sure was we would stay in God’s word daily. We found that talking about God and many other things that are non-sexual helped us dramatically. We don’t talk about sex in our conversations, only during our pre-marital counselling. We pray so much together as we found that bonded us so much, that we discovered its even better than sex. Personally I chose not to think about the past and drew a line on the day we made that decision to stop, and view it as a start to whole new relationship. The fact that I was sexually active with him before doesn’t come into this new relationship space because how can I desire or miss something that wasn’t part of the new relationship we have started to build. So try to draw a line on sexual activities and make a decision in your heart not to visit it again and you will begin to discover more about your boyfriend than before. Sexual desires will come but like Paul said to take every thought captive (2 Cor 10:15) and weigh to see if its going to help you in your pursuit to a successful courtship and ultimately marriage.
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your reply, and it couldn’t have come in at a better time. You’re perspective is so detailed and just what I needed to hear, not as a “formula” per day, but just to see how consistent we need to remain within our walk with Christ, together, and as individuals. Do you have social media so we can stay in touch if you don’t mind? You can FB me by that name
Hello!I am happy to have found this community because i believe the answer to my situation is here… I have had failed relationships but my current boyfriend,whom av known for 6yrs before i accepted to date him, does not see premarital sex as fornication but ‘we are acting like married couples’. When we are around each other,it is hard to fight the desire to do it. I always end up feeling guilty and confessing my sins afterwards but he doesnt. I am a Christian and am supposed to practise what i represent. I promised God that it would never happen again and i intend to work on it but not alone. I discussed it with my boyfriend and he told me that sex must be an important component in his relationships and that is how it is gonna be. What do i do?i’ld rather lose an arm than go to hell with both
Have you established if your boyfriend wants to follow God’s pattern in how he approaches sex before marriage? If all he is interested in is having a sexual relationship with you before he commits to you as your husband then he doesn’t deserve your love. A man who truly wants the ways of God and loves you, he will respect your decision to stop being sexual intimate until he is your husband. 1 Cor 6:18 tells us the flee from sexual immorality, so its now up to you, whether you want to continue disobeying God or lose a man that clearly isn’t willing to follow the ways of Christ. God loves us so much that he wants the best for us as His children and He wants the best for you Charity, but you have to obey His word in order to succeed.
Hi! So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now and have the same goals, to get married and lead a healthy Christian relationship. However, recently we completely shattered that by having premarital sex and it was a huge wake up call to us and snapped us out of the sinful patterns we had been having throughout our relationship. we tried to set boundaries and stick to them but we would only go successfully for a few weeks and then it would just be too difficult until that one night. So we have no desire to break those boundaries anymore after that night but I am just wondering some tips as to how to forgive ourselves and start fresh without fear that the sexual immorality has already destroyed our relationship?
Did you give him your virginity? Did you let him be the first to push into you & take your Christian innocence? That can be a big factor in guilt as well.
Hi! My boyfriend and I just met this year and have been crazy about each other. We are both Christians by religion but we are not in the same denomination, and he does not go to church much. Just last month I made the biggest mistake in my life, I slept with him but I don’t know why I did not regret sleeping with him. He is a nice guy though he does not attend church much and he does not force me or ask me to sleep with him, it’s only me that’s always tempted. Please help me, I want to live a pure life with him in our relationship but it’s a bit hard for me because I’ve already slept with him. By the way my parents don’t know anything about this, and since my mom is a god-fearing woman, I feel like I’m a disgrace and will never be worthy of a holy marriage.
Let him be the first to take your Christian innocence?
I wonder how many Christian women here gave their virginities to the nonChrsitian men they date & give themselves to.
Dr lawan is a great man that help me to bring back my lover back in just three days it was like dream in my eyes when i see my man comes back to me with the help of Dr lawan the magic man i want to use the opportunity to tell the people on this site that dr lawan is good man and very kind person being sent by God via firstname.lastname@example.org if you are in any problem dr lawan is available to help you he did mine so he can do yours no matter what the problem is dr lawan is capable and as such i have contacted fake spell caster they all eat my money and tell me a lot of story but when i contacted dr lawan he restored all that i have lost back to me via email@example.com
Criticizing and condemning are continual issues that sometimes when engaging long enough I pick up and start operating out of.
We really need help. My strategies are to keep conversations neutral, sleep separately, pray and worship like I do, keep religious opinions out of the relationship and continue to serve my household with love.
I know the Lord, love the Lord and do not agree with things that are contrary to the written word of God as simply stated; things that need no interpretation. Neither do I agree with man when the Lord has spoken and used his Word to give me a strong rhema.