Writing dating profile
Examples of Online Dating Profile Descriptions of Yourself and Your Ideal Match
Would you like to see examples of profile descriptions of yourself and your ideal match? Here are some sample profile descriptions along with my analysis of their pros and cons. If you have a different take on any of them, please share your opinions in the “Comments” setion below.
Also, if you need help writing your description, please see my tool Dating Profile Writing Tool.
Remember that your online dating profile is just a starting point. It is impossible to precisely convey every detail about who you are and what you want in an online dating profile. It takes time to get to know someone. With your online profile, your profile’s purpose is simply to:
- Attract a good-sized pool of potentially compatible dates.
- Weed out the people who are probably bad matches for you.
Both of the examples that follow are from people seeking a long-term relationship. I discuss the pros and cons of their descriptions and summarize how effective I think they will be at accomplishing the goals of the online profile. With that in mind, let’s go:
JaneDoe: Looking for Someone Honest
I am looking for someone with honesty and integrity. Please be who you say you are–please no game players! Please show a recent photo (get out of denial, yes, you and I both have aged–hopefully, gracefully, lol!) We all wish we looked and felt the way we did 10 years ago! A person with a good sense of humor… A smile goes a long way–make someone happy today! My profile says I am 50… Sorry, I wasn’t able to change it… I am ….. 56!
Today the weather here is beautiful, I just wish I had someone to share it with. Picnics, walking hand and hand, how nice. I like a man who has passion in his heart and romance in his eyes. I look for a man who has HUMOR, COMPASSION, HONESTY, INTERGITY, LOYALITY, FAITHFULNESS, and who is a good communicator.
I am not a perfect person by any means. I still have work to do. With God’s help, I am striving to be the best person I can be.
God Bless, I wish you success in finding your match. Until we meet, SMILE.
- Jane comes across as sincere, smiley, and really nice and likeable. (So I’m sorry, Jane, for savaging your profile in the “Cons” section that follows!)
- We get a sense of Jane’s voice and personality.
- We learn that Jane has religious faith.
- We learn that Jane has the humility and self-acceptance to recognize that she isn’t perfect but is doing the best she can.
- We don’t really get a sense of what Jane is interested in or what kind of life she leads. All we know is that she seems to be an unusually nice person who has faith in God. Therefore, her photo will be an even bigger factor than usual for men who are trying to decide whether to contact her.
- In terms of what Jane is looking for in a match, it isn’t very helpful to list the qualities that simply make a person a decent human being who could sustain a relationship. Saying that she wants someone “honest” with “integrity” and who isn’t a “game player” doesn’t tell us anything unique. Is anyone out there hoping to build a long-term relationship with a dishonest game-player who lacks integrity? Jane will need to take the time to judge each man’s character as she gets to know him. Her online dating profile can’t do that for her. There’s no substitute for being patient and keeping your eyes and ears open.
- Also, Jane’s profile doesn’t help the potential bad matches weed themselves out. Most people think of themselves as pretty decent, basically “good” people. There aren’t many people out there who would feel they aren’t compassionate, honest, or loyal enough to reply.
- Most people want someone with a “good sense of humor”. Given that humor is so subjective, it would be helpful to know more specifically what kinds of things Jane enjoys.
- “Someone to share [nice weather] with”, “picnics” and “walking hand in hand” bring to mind images of warm companionship, but they don’t tell us much about what Jane likes to do and what she’s looking for. Jane isn’t unique in wanting companionship. That’s what everyone looking for a long-term relationship is looking for. Jane isn’t using “walking hand in hand” as a non-negotiable requirement. She isn’t saying that anyone who, for whatever reason, isn’t capable of walking hand in hand with her could never be an acceptable match. Instead, “walking hand in hand” is simply an image that describes the feeling of having a mate, which is the same feeling that almost everyone else looking for a relationship wants.
I’m sure Jane is really nice, but her description doesn’t tell us much beyond that. It could perhaps help to attract other super-nice people (or not-so-nice people who prey on the super-nice) in her age range, but it does very little to make Jane’s job easier by weeding out the people who are unlikely to be good matches. It would be great if Jane could say more about what she likes to do and what excites her.
JohnDoe: World Traveler
Originally from Australia, I’ve been living in the U.S. for a long time. I travel a lot–for my job as a journalist, and also just because I love the surprise of the unknown. I love to learn about new places, people and cultures.
I’m the father of a grown son who is off at college. I like to be in harmony with the world around me. Wow, that sounds new age, but I’m very down to earth ?? I like to read a lot and keep up with many things–politics, social issues, culture, travels, people.
I especially value humor, being able to laugh at yourself, being able to communicate, culture in general, social issues, staying healthy, and the freedom to think out of the box.
I also like Woody Allen films, swimming, hearing people’s stories, and simply talking with people.
I’m looking for a companion–somone with her own life, with a strong personality, yet also able to make the compromises that life sometimes requires. Someone who isn’t too thin and who is able to laugh at herself. No smokers, please.
- We get a sense of who John is as a person. We learn some of the things that drive him–his curiosity about new places, people, and cultures.
- We learn that if we smoke, can’t laugh at ourselves, or are especially thin, then we shouldn’t contact John.
- We learn that John takes an active approach to staying fit and healthy.
John’s profile gives us a pretty good idea of his priorities and values. We get a sense of what he finds interesting in his life. We get a sense of whether there might be enough overlap in our interests, and we also get enough information to weed ourselves out if a good match is unlikely.